2/6/2026

Relationship Stuff. This is a word to the single people and to those who are married. It is a word to people in general who want to develop and maintain good healthy relationships. To people who need clarity and guidance. To those who have prayed and cried for help. Our relationships are important because we are called to advance the Kingdom of God here on earth through relationship.

My goal is not to preach but to create meaningful dialogue where we can change and do better with relationships. We are called to be lights, living epistles, ambassadors for Christ and we want to be good representatives of our Lord Jesus Christ. It’s essential that we slow down, reflect, study, grow and improve.

As we look into relationship stuff………….let’s tackle it from an “I” perspective where we are more focused on the areas we need help and less on the issues of others.

Although relationships can be challenging at times, we are supposed to be helpers one to another through relationship:

• Relationship where iron sharpens iron.
• Relationship where I am my brother’s keeper.
• Relationship where it is necessary to have healthy boundaries.

This subject can be heavy because of all it involves. Relationship touches on so much. All through the Bible it talks about relationships. God’s relationship with man, His covenant and lack of covenant. Nation with nation, kingdom to kingdom, family to family, tribe to tribe, business to business, parent to child, child to parent, sibling and family relationships, leader to leader, community to community, church relationships, neighbor to neighbor.

Relationship go thru stages, seasons, times and purpose:

• Times of war and times of peace in relationships.
• Time to embrace and time to refrain from embracing.

We were created with unity in mind. To live in unified collaboration with one another. To love one another. To be patient with each other. To develop the fruit of the spirit and help, support, correct and care for one another. But there are limits. Throughout the Bible it talks about terms or conditions for both improving and ending relationship.

Psalm 133 is a song of ascent, written by David and tells the significance and importance of unity in relationship. What togetherness can produce or reproduce. It describes the joy of harmonious relationships based on brotherly love. This Psalm causes me to think about ‘purpose’. Various relationships all serve a purpose. All relationships may not be harmonious but they still serve a purpose. Some relationships are actually lessons to teach us how to obey God, how to forgive, show mercy, provide correction, how to pray, the need to repent and how to ascend.

Psalm 133: Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! ² It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron’s beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments; ³ As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion: for there the Lord commanded the blessing, even life for evermore. KJV

Behold, how good and pleasant it is
    when brothers dwell in unity!^[a]
2 It is like the precious oil on the head,
    running down on the beard,
on the beard of Aaron,
    running down on the collar of his robes!
³ It is like the dew of Hermon,
    which falls on the mountains of Zion!
For there the Lord has commanded the blessing,
    life forevermore. ESV

We all may wonder at times what is the purpose behind particular relationships. Psalm 133 is referred to as a song of ascent. The songs (Psalms) of ascent were song as they were on a spiritual journey toward God; ascending higher.

According to Google.com, “A Song of Ascents refers to a specific collection of 15 psalms (Psalms 120–134) in the Bible, traditionally sung by Jewish pilgrims ascending the road to Jerusalem for annual festivals. These “songs of ascent” or “pilgrim songs” served as worship, marking the journey to the Temple and focusing on God’s protection and presence. 

Key Details About Songs of Ascents:

• Definition & Origin: Known in Hebrew as Shir Hama’a lot (Songs of the Up-goings), these were likely sung while traveling “up” to the mountainous city of Jerusalem. Some traditions suggest they were sung while ascending the 15 steps to the Temple.
• Purpose:

 These psalms were used during the three major annual pilgrimage festivals (Passover, Pentecost, and Tabernacles)

.

• Themes: They are characterized by themes of hope, trust, joy, and dependence on God for protection during difficult times.
• Structure: They are generally brief, often using repetition or a “staircase” style of poetry.” (Google.com)

We are called to relationship with Jesus and with other people.

Jesus died on the cross to pay the penalty so that we can have eternal and everlasting relationship with God. Sin separated us from God and the price was the shedding of qualified blood. Without the shedding of blood there is no remission or forgiveness of sin. God gave very specific requirements for the blood sacrifice. Jesus is Thee only One who could ever meet those requirements. The Bible says, for the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life in (in relationship with) Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23

Jesus gave Himself in order to have relationship with us. The Blood He shed on the cross was the payment for our sin debt. The wages (cost, penalty) of sin is death. Jesus substitutionary, sacrificial death on the cross was so that we can be forgiven for our sins (past, present, future) and have relationship by being reconciled back to God.

As I reflect on all the political upheaval, violence, injustice, discord and blatant hatred that is happening in the U.S. of America (and the nations of the world); it causes me to reflect on Bible end time prophecy and it’s fulfillment. (See Matthew Chapter 7: 21-23) Wars and rumors of wars sounded generalized, distant and far off at a point in my life. However, now it is daily up front and in our faces. The government warring against the people. Neighbors warring against neighbor. Family members warring against family members. The false or confused church warring against the true church. Think of warring as being in conflict. The Bible describes how God led people into battle, into war, for a purpose. So all relationships are not designed to be harmonious. While it is tempting and appropriate sometimes, block and bye and is not always God’s solution. But as Psalm 133 states, it’s good and pleasant for brethren to dwell together in unity. I like to think of brethren, not only in the Bible sense but also from a practical standpoint. Jesus talked about his true family (Matthew 12: 46-50) pertaining to, relationship. We know there are all kinds of relationships.

Relationship requires defining. It is very important that Holy Spirit is directing us in the defining process concerning relationships. By defining, I mean that we have to properly assess relationships and then make a decision about the category any particular relationship belongs in. For example, a person can be considered a friend and yet a friend can feel like close family. A close relative can feel like a distant acquaintance or like an enemy.

The thing about relationships is that it causes us to look outside of ourselves. To consider the next person. To become sacrificial in a sense, sometimes giving up our own comfort. At other times, refusing to retaliate because someone has lied on us or misconstrued our character, intentionally.

God, who is love, instructs us to love one another. The Bible does not tell us that loving people will always be easy, pleasant, or convenient. I recently heard my Pastor Tamara Thomas-Lots say, love can be messy sometimes. I have found this to be true. Can you imagine, someone purposefully doing everything they can to destroy you. They back bite, steal, lie, betray, distort, and manipulate all for the purpose of bringing harm to you.

Yet, we are still required to love one another. Love does not mean supporting people in their destructive patterns or enabling them to live in a lifestyle that harms them and displeases God. Love is much deeper than that. Love also corrects and tells the truth. Love also holds people accountable.

It’s easy to create a narrative about someone else, to avoid personal accountability. But the truth will always speak louder than a lie. It may appear that the truth is hidden and suppressed. But there will be a time when the truth will speak, loud and clear. But that’s not our problem or focus.

I remember a time when some people who I loved dearly were literally backstabbing and scandalizing my name. I’m talking these people had my heart. Yet they continuously spoke viciously about me. I asked God, do they really think this way about me? How? It’s not possible for them to actually believe the things they are saying about me. I mean they attacked who I am and everything I believed in. I felt so betrayed, hurt and defeated.

I wanted to defend myself. But Holy Spirit instructed me to be still. Do not respond. Do not try to defend yourself. Relationships serve a purpose! In Matthew 5:44 Jesus said, “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (NIV)”. That’s not what I wanted to do. I really wanted to come out blazing with documentation in hand, refuting everything they said about me. I was mad, very upset. But God.

I was reminded about the purpose of those relationships. Why God had put those people in my life, how it was ordained by Him, for a reason. How it was my assignment to love and pray for them. To always intercede on their behalf because they have a destiny in God. A precious soul. My sincere prayers and declarations was the job that the Lord gave me to do. I didn’t get to check out. But He did give me the grace to endure.

See sometimes the purpose is not about today, the status of the relationship as it is today. But for a future season and reason, a future generation. Relationship dynamics run deep and teach us the fruit of the spirit if we are willing to learn and grow into it. This is not an easy process because love can be messy.

In dealing with people we have to be mindful of Ephesians 6:10-18. You may think that a particular person or group of people are against you however pray and ask God to let you see what is the true source. Satan is a deceiver and the father of lies. When I was younger I didn’t really understand this. My mother would say, Rhonda consider the source.  When Holy Spirit teaches you 2 Corinthians 4:18, in a living environment, you think differently about things.

• “As we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 2 cor 4:18 ESV.
• ¹⁸ So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever. NLT

Relationship can be a vehicle to help us ascend to the place where Jesus wants us to be. A vehicle to transport us into our destiny.  Your assignment for a given relationship can be like a bridge to get them, and you, to the assigned destination. So consider the source in relationships. Could it be God? Could the conflict that you are experiencing in relationship be God? The answer is yes and Jesus is our example.  

I was thinking about Jesus’ relationship and communications with his disciples, followers and the apostles. There are various degrees of relationship and relationship identifying and defining is necessary. There’s levels to this! For example, Jesus knew that Judas would betray him, and yet. Jesus knew the heart of the Pharisees and Sadducees; he knew his betrayers and yet. Jesus knew Peter, his beloved Peter, would deny him and yet. It’s for God’s plan and will to be done. My former Pastor, the late Bertha M. Girty would say, “Let every experience be a learning experience”.

We need Holy Spirit to help us with the defining process. We can be thinking about a particular relationship or group and drawing a conclusion based on our limited understanding. But Holy Spirit and the Word of God will guide us into the truth about a person’s role in our life.

Matthew 16:13-18 ESV:

        ¹³ When Jesus came into the coasts of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, saying, Whom do men say that I the Son of man am? ¹⁴ And they said, Some say that thou art John the Baptist: some, Elias; and others, Jeremias, or one of the prophets. ¹⁵ He saith unto them, But whom say ye that I am? ¹⁶ And Simon Peter answered and said, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God.

¹⁷ And Jesus answered and said unto him, Blessed art thou, Simon Barjona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven. ¹⁸ And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.

¹⁹ And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

Now, this is loaded. Peter got the defining revelation and Jesus responded accordingly. There’s so much here but I want to highlight ‘keys’. With natural relationships, do we just give our keys to anybody. We protect our keys and access is very limited or should be. It is the same way with relationship. Would we give the keys to our heart to just anybody? I hope not.

This could be an entire series but Jesus is our example of how to navigate relationships, both the good and the bad. We are not called to be in relationship with everyone/anyone. God is strategic and so is the devil so we need understanding and discernment in this area. All of our relationships have to be founded on love.

Relationship Stuff to Study

(I didn’t know this was going to be so layered and loaded but please study the following based on Bible principles and the teachings of Jesus. When you are ready to actively participate in the learning process and work on the relationships in your life…..PRAY!

When the student is ready—-the Teacher (Holy Spirit) will appear to help you)

Love Prayer Assessment Communication Betrayal The lies and the truth

Honesty with our self Forgiveness Bitterness Boundaries Prioritization

Accountability Renewal Acceptance Respect Strength Patience Grief Grace

Discipline Obedience Compatibility Reciprocity Compassion Evaluation Correction

Peace Non-Negotiables Reconciliation Conclusion-end to relationship

I want to talk about a few types of relationships and the importance of communication. The Goal: Our goal is to heal, develop, maintain, and sustain harmonious relationships. Where God is glorified in all the areas of our life. Where we are true ambassadors for Jesus. So as we prepare to change, grow and as we prepare for future God ordained and prepared relationships; lets study. Be encouraged!

I’m not trying to reinvent the wheel so the following is from Google.com.

Relationship Types

Marriage and Family—Amos 3:3 Can two people walk together
    without agreeing on the direction? NLT.

The Bible teaches that relationships, especially marriage, should be founded on selfless, sacrificial love (agape), characterized by patience, kindness, forgiveness, and mutual respect, reflecting Christ’s love for the Church (1 Corinthians 13, Ephesians 5). Key principles include loving God and your neighbor as yourself, bearing with one another, building each other up (1 Peter 4:8, 1 Thessalonians 5:11), and for marriage, becoming “one flesh” with commitment and leaving family (Genesis 2:24). 

Core Principles

• Love as the Foundation: The greatest commandment is to love God and love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:39).
• Christ-like Love: Love should be patient, kind, not envious, not proud, not self-seeking, and rejoice with the truth (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
• Forgiveness & Grace: Be kind and forgiving to one another, as God forgave you in Christ (Ephesians 4:32).
• Mutual Support: Encourage and build each other up, serving one another in love (Galatians 5:13, 1 Thessalonians 5:11).
• Honesty & Accountability: Speak the truth in love and help restore those who fall into sin (Ephesians 4:15, Galatians 6:1). 

• One Flesh: Marriage is a sacred union where a man leaves his parents to become one with his wife (Genesis 2:24).
• Husbands & Wives: Husbands should love their wives sacrificially, as Christ loved the Church, and wives should respect their husbands (Ephesians 5:25-33).
• Companionship: God created humans for relationship, seeing it as not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). 

Friendship & Community

• Loyalty: A true friend loves at all times, and a friend can be a source of strength in hardship (Proverbs 17:17).
• Sharpening: Friends help each other grow, like iron sharpening iron (Proverbs 27:17).
• Peace & Harmony: Live at peace with everyone as much as possible (Romans 12:18). 

Key Verses

• 1 Corinthians 13:4-7: The famous “love” chapter.
• Ephesians 5:21-33: Guidance for mutual submission and marital love.
• John 13:34: “Love one another as I have loved you”.
• Proverbs 27:17: “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend”. 

Communication

“To build strong relationships through communication, focus on active listening, using “I” statements, asking open-ended questions, showing empathy, and creating dedicated check-in time, while also managing conflict with calm, respectful dialogue and validating your partner’s feelings. Key techniques involve truly hearing your partner, expressing your own needs without blame, and understanding their perspective to foster trust and deeper connection. 

Core Communication Skills

• Active Listening: Give full attention, nod, paraphrase what you hear (“It sounds like you’re saying…”), and don’t interrupt to plan your response.
• “I” Statements: Express your feelings and needs (e.g., “I feel unheard when…”) rather than accusing (“You never…”).
• Open-Ended Questions: Ask “How was your day?” instead of “Did you have a good day?” to encourage deeper sharing.
• Empathy & Validation: Try to understand your partner’s perspective and acknowledge their feelings, even if you disagree.
• Nonverbal Cues: Be aware of your body language, tone, and eye contact to ensure they match your words. 

Practical Exercises & Habits

• Regular Check-ins: Schedule brief, distraction-free times to talk about your days, feelings, or plans.
• Share Feelings & Needs: Practice using feeling words and clearly stating what you need, not just what you don’t like.
• Positive Affirmations: Share appreciation and admiration for your partner to build positivity.
• Assume Best Intentions: Start with the belief that your partner means well.
• Take Breaks: Call a timeout if conversations get too heated, agreeing to revisit the topic later. Google/AI

Google.com (Types of Relationships and Communication)

Gowalkthetalk.com